


First Few Drinks

by mandaree1



Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Genre: Alcohol, Drugs, Gen, In kid form but still, Nigel's a bragger when he's drunk, Set pre series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 03:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10711230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandaree1/pseuds/mandaree1
Summary: Nigel's new to being an operative, high off his first successful mission, and really can't hold his root beer.





	First Few Drinks

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: We all know root beer and candy can be equivalent of kid alcohol/drugs in this show, so that's a thing.

The first drink Numbuh 1 is hesitant, sipping at the root beer with an almost guilty look in his eyes. The second one goes down easier and by the third he's well and truly into it. Numbuh 2 is perched beside him, downing bottle after bottle of chocolate syrup. His voice is sluggish, which is fairly normal in this state. Numbuh 5 holds off on giving him any sugar from her own stash, chewing on a taffy.

"I'm king of the world!" Numbuh 1 slurs, slamming his mug on the counter. It cracks under his strength. "'M sorry, Abby, it was such a nice mug."

Numbuh 5 sweeps the shards off the counter with her arm, ignoring the slight pricking sensation of one digging into her skin. "S'okay, baby. Tonight's your night."

"Thank you, Abby. Your room is really pretty. Can I make my room pretty?"

"Shoot, boy. It's your room. Do what you want with it."

Numbuh 2 laughs giddily. "Numbuh 1's too busy for pretties, Numbuh 5. He's gonna line his bed with rulers an' belts- all spanking stuff. Nobody gonna spank this boy ever again."

Numbuh 5 forgoes getting another glass, handing the boy a plastic bottle. Store-bought is no better than fizzy water, but this is the point where the average operative doesn't care. "One mission don't make ya' an adult-stoppin' machine. He's gonna get a big head if you keep goin' on like that."

Nigel slammed the bottle down by the neck again. It didn't break, but root beer splattered everywhere. "I hate adults," he proclaimed, very seriously, "they're all the same."

Numbuh 5 stood to grab a hand towel to clean up the spill. "Numbuh 5 is sure your dad'll love to hear that."

"Dad isn't an adult," he sniffed, visibly affronted. "Dad's dad. He's the exception."

"You're too high to be usin' words like 'exception.'"

Numbuh 1 ignores her. "You know who's worse than adults? The Delightful Chil'ren."

"Preach it, brotha," Numbuh 2 raised his syrup in salute. "Those guys are the _worst_."

Numbuh 5 quietly turns away from them both.

"Jus' you wait, Hoagie," Nigel assured him, taking another swig. "I'mma catch 'em one day. And, when I do, I'mma shave 'em bald, _jus' like me_."

Hoagie whoops. "You get them, man. You get them good."

"I'll be the best in all the... all the... all the KND. Nobody'll be better than me."

"Sounds like somebody's hittin' the surrealist stage," Numbuh 5 remarked, coming around the side of her bar. "Alright, hotshot. Time for bed."

"'M serious," Nigel snaps, but allows himself to be helped off the stool. "You'll see, Numbuh 5."

"Sure, baby."

**Author's Note:**

> Drunken shenanigans with Numbuh 5 being a designated driver of sorts. I've had this sitting around for a while now, and I just got around to typing it out.
> 
> -Mandaree1


End file.
